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Saturday, 5 January 2019

An Experienced Psychologist Reveals How to Understand Yourself and Others Once and for All

A good psychologist can tell us how to deal with many difficulties that we face in our lives. Some professionals don’t just help their clients, but also share their tips online. For example, psychologist Anton Shutov uses his Twitter account to share many important things and the knowledge he has acquired during his years of practice.
We at Bright Side found a lot of useful information and we want to share it with you.

Some useful tips

  • Stress is not only our enemy but also our ally. If a person doesn’t have any stress in their life and feels absolutely comfortable, they start to feel bored, and their life energy goes down to zero which leads to severe depression. A constant light level of stress keeps us toned.
  • Stop for a moment and take in a deep breath. Then, breathe out slowly. Breathing slowly and deeply relaxes us and moves the oxygen into our blood. It helps us to concentrate better on the important stuff, reduces the influence of stress, and returns us to the present moment.
  • In order to increase your awareness, to feel more present, psychologists recommend trying as many new things as possible: new classes, new walking paths, new topics, new foods, new hobbies, and so on. This improves your awareness and makes you stronger.
  • If you have to deal with betrayal, remember a very important and unpleasant thing: betrayal only works in one direction. Only the betrayed person feels it, the other person usually doesn’t understand it. Don’t waste your breath trying to prove anything. It’s useless.
  • If you are trying to make a decision and find yourself out of ideas, stop the search, and switch to something else. The analysis of different options won’t stop, it will just go to a deeper level (subconscious) and will continue there. And the subconscious will soon give you the answer. It is important that you don’t get tired of searching for the answer.
  • If you are a creative person, remember that loneliness is something you really need. Not communicating with anyone for some time on a regular basis, the silence, and the quiet makes your internal analysis faster and more powerful. The necessary ideas are formed during this time. So, stay alone more often.
  • If you are visiting a psychologist, don’t tell them about all the topics that worry you. Choose the most important one and start with that. One topic — one session. It is very likely that after you deal with one topic, you will see the others from a completely different perspective.
  • Sometimes, our inclination to overanalyze things is our enemy. The ability to turn your brain off is a necessary skill. If you are doing something dangerous, you shouldn’t concentrate on the danger. The risk of failure increases dramatically if you are scared.
  • As it turns out, painkillers relieve us not only of physical pain but also of the emotional kind. This was proven by official studies. Be careful with them.

How to know yourself and other people better

  • When you repeat a task several times and you notice that it starts to lose its usual meaning, this is called semantic satiation. You’ve tried it, right?
  • You and your colleagues are eating together in the cafeteria, you finish your meal first and wait for the other people to do the same. Even though this is not always the case, experts believe that the faster a person eats, the higher their anxiety level is.
  • Some people believe that if someone taps their foot quickly, this person is nervous. But this is not always true. It is often because this person wants to switch to some other kind of activity or wants to make other people do things faster.
  • If you are alone on the street and you see a pack of dogs, there is a good chance they will attack you to train their skills on a lonely person and teach the younger members of their group. People do the same thing. It is called bullying. Remember your school years.
  • Teenage bullying is a huge problem. The first tip: a child should not react to bullying in any way because this is what bullies want. The second tip: parents should not intervene, this will only make matters worse.
  • When a person touches their nose during a conversation, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they are lying. It’s just that they are trying to put a kind of barrier between the mouth and the person they are talking to. It means that they feel insecure.

About people

  • What do you do when you need to give a speech and the audience is noisy? Don’t try to calm people down. Just take your place, stand, and keep calm. Soon, the noise will disappear and the attention will be drawn to you.
  • There is a certain rule. If someone you know criticizes other people, you can be sure that once you are out of their sight, they will do the same to you. Keep as far away from these people as possible.
  • In order to feel united with a person you love, try to copy the rhythm of their breath. This subtle change creates a really nice effect. Try it.
  • Do this experiment with your friends or colleagues: give sheets of paper to guys and girls and ask them to draw a bicycle. You will laugh a lot when looking at the pictures. Men will draw a mechanically real model and women... You will see for yourself. This is how different men and women are.
  • In order to make a person like you the first time they see you, ask them 10 questions about something they like. They will respond and you will listen. This will make them like you. Dale Carnegie wrote about this and it really works.
  • When you are walking past a potentially aggressive group of people, here is what you should do: 1) keep your fists clenched); 2) narrow your eyes a little; 3) look over the group of people; 4) don’t show them that you are trying to walk faster; 5) don’t react to whatever they say to you.
  • A person who doesn’t know you tells you that they are a psychic and starts telling you the truth about yourself. This is called the Barnum effect — these are general characteristics that seem to be true only for you. Astrology works in exactly the same way.
  • When parents, spouses, or friends make someone see a psychologist, this is almost definitely useless. A client who is forced to visit a psychologist will not be able to open up for a doctor and will resist the therapy.
  • All you need in other people is honesty, and it doesn’t matter who they are to you: lovers, spouses, consultants, colleagues, friends, relatives, parents, children, or neighbors. This is the point of any relationship.

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